2/26:
looking through a card catalog. displaced grief. navigating the institution. team meetings in corporate structures.
2/27:little city kitchen: dirty chai; english muffin, egg, bacon, cheese, redpeppersauce.
the arcade.
nicotine.
TMJ. effects of nicotine. instability. 2/28:
hot shop. Glassblowing. Ginger tea, Labneh. Power naps. effects of bong rips. Nicotine.
TMJ. 8am class. unfinished homework. 2000 degrees Fahrenheit. Hot jacks on my forearm. Gloryhole 2. Administrative work. Scheduling. taking a bong rip.
3/1:
smell of lavender. coffee. small groups. beast games finale: $$$tmj. confrontations.
3/2:glassblowing. burning my pinkie finger on the blowpipe. the mess in my room. can’t think clearly. the way my stomach feels thinking about graduating in the spring. doomscrolling.
3/3: glassblowing. popping a blister. batching a box parts <1hr. Charleston dancing. anything i read in the news. SNL. new burns+hot showers. 10pm-1am blowslot.
3/4:tasty food
crisp apples
dopamine
hedonism
gluttony
heaven
smiles
laughter
joy
gentle touches
falling in love
a good idea
hell
burning
drowning
being crushed
breaking a bone
pulling out teeth
stress
anxiety
suffering
misery
getting stabbed
getting shot
mourning
bureaucracy
No more dates:)
Being in love. Sex. Good food. Good. Doing what I want. Puppies and kittens. Cuteness. beauty. Car crashes in American cinema. Drugs. Harmony. Floating. Flying. Lucid dreaming. Achievement. Ignorance. Bliss. Ripe fruits. Exercise. Removing a splinter. A good hot shower after a long day of work. Cafeteria coffee. Moments of sudden inspiration. Flow state. +aura. Remembering something you were struggling to remembers. Locking tf in. Cold water. Knowing just what to say. Winning a prize. Winning a lottery. Winning. Thinking in the short term.
Torture. Bad food. Bad. Labor. Stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk. Nails on a chalkboard. Ugliness. Dating apps. Car accidents in real life. slow death. Burning. Drowning. Dissonance. Sleep paralysis. Injury. Heartbreak. Cancer. Alzheimer’s. Addiction. Walking barefoot over nails. Sour blueberries. Stinging nettle. Poison Ivy. Going to the gym. Stubbing your toe. Paper cuts. Small but deep splinters. Not being able to remember something, on the tip of the tongue. -aura. Tepid water. Shame. Humiliation. Losing. Getting called out. Gossip. Sin. Dealing with consequences. Misery
Emojis:
😀😆😃🤣🥹🥲😇🙂😄😁🙂🙃☺️😊😉😌😍🥰😘😗😙😚😋😛😝😜🤪🤨🧐🤓😎🥸🤩🥳🙂↕️😏🙂↔️😶🌫️🤗🤔🫢🤭🫡🤫🫠🤤😮💨🥴🤠🤑🤠😈😈💩👻👽👾🎃😺😸😹😻😼😽🫶🤲👐🙌👏🤝👍👊🤜🤛🤞✌️🫰🤟🤘👌🤏🫳🫴👈👉👆👇☝️✋🤚🖐️🖖👋🤙🫲🫱💪🦾✍️🙏🫵
😅😒😞😔😟😕🙁☹️😣😖😫😩🥺😢😭😤😠😡🤬🤯😤😳🥵🥶😱😨😰😥😓🫣🤥😶🤥😶🫥😐🫤😑🫨😬🙄😯😦😧😮🥱😴😪😵😵💫🤐🤢🤮🤧😷🤒🤕👿👹👺🤡💀☠️🤖🙀😿😾👎✊🫷🫸🤌🖕
-Thinking in the short term
-Living in the moment
-Doing nice things for people
-Buying new things
-Steam
-Streetlights
-Electricity
-Mitochondria
-Parquet flooring
-Tight joinery
-Dealing with consequences
-Dwelling on the past, worrying about the future
-Pettiness
-Paying credit card bill
-Trash cans
-Bricks
-Plywood
-Cars
-Gaps in wood
Ingrid:
watching tv, good food, traveling, first class, discounts, having a crush, making banana bread, being in the middle of a glue up and you avoid shop clean up,
norovirus, covid, period cramps, UTIs, diarrhea, food poisoning, sore back, economy class, having a celebrity crush, setting up the table saw, not understanding gen alpha memes
Palm:
enough sleep, waking up refreshed, when everyone compliments your banana bread, when Joe fixes it, setting the table saw on fire but James is there because he happened to go home late that day
hidden costs, not wanting to go to bed but needing to because you have work, so many things to watch, but not enough time, longing for new shows, when you have a crush but don’t know if their straight, when you finish a show you like and realize there’s not going to be another show this good, when the bananas go bad before you can make them into bread, waking up early but all the machines are occupied, getting to bank but Joe just left, friends who don’t speak your native language and will never understand how funny you are.
Pleasure: picking a scab.
Pain: watching a scar form.
Pleasure: work that leaves a mark.
Pain: minor infections
Pleasure: sex
Pain: waking up for morning classes
Pleasure: ripping a bandaid
Pain: trying to put it back on